Five :- Blu Rays I need to own that aren’t available in the UK

I’ve been a movie collector for as long as I can remember. VHS, Laserdisc (I still have them. My Japanese import of Tremors is a thing of beauty.), DVD and now Blu- Ray. Hundreds of titles covering most genres and eras. Each film means something to me and I would be hard pressed to pick even one from my collection to dispose of.

There are however gaps. Films I haven’t seen in years that belong on those shelves. I have spaces reserved for them (yes, my shelves are alphabetized) but the titles themselves are just not available to buy. At least not in my region and/or legitimately. They are not even really old titles or small independent films that never found an audience. These are big (ish) movies with major star which for some unfathomable reason have never had a UK release. Some of them have been around on VHS but DVD and/or Blu ray. Nope. Avatar is on its third or fourth release in the UK, Commando is on it’s second Blu Ray release and yet these (and many other) arguably better films are still sitting in some vault crying out to be watched and loved.
In the US, some of the major studios have burn to order DVD schemes, basic vanilla versions of hard to find movies pressed to order rather than given major (expensive) wide releases. No such scheme (to the best of my knowledge) exists in the UK. Come on what would it take. Really. I’m not asking for a fully restored, fully loaded extras laden high def Blu Ray extravaganza. I just want to watch them again, exactly as I remember them.

I want my DVDs.

1. Doc Savage – Man of Bronze

This one brings back memories of Sunday afternoon movies as a kid. It’s not a great movie but that’s not the point. If you look at my movies on the shelf, it’s a glimpse inside my mind. You should be able to understand me and how I am by looking at what I put out on display (I feel the same about record collections and a persons books. Always distrust anyone with doors on their bookshelves. They’re hiding things) but here are pieces missing. It might be rubbish but it still belongs (right between District 9 and Dr No). This film at least may surface in the foreseeable future when the Shane Black scripted Doc Savage movie eventually gets released. Fingers crossed.

2. Quick Change

My all time favourite Bill Murray movie. Extremely funny (Tony Shaloub almost steals the show as the non-English speaking cab driver). Geena Davis, Randy Quaid, Mexicans duelling on bicycles and a bank robbery scheme that could potentially work. I always make a point of catching this on the odd occasions it turns up on tv (which isn’t often) and would gladly hand over large amounts of hard earned moolah to own a copy for myself. Apparently available in Holland on DVD but no sign of a UK release on either format. Why?

3. The Man Who Knew Too Little

The other Bill Murray film on the list is a bit different. I’ve only seen it the one time, years ago very late at night. I managed to fall asleep three quarters of the way through and have never seen the end. Currently German import DVDs are changing hands for upwards of £70 on Amazon and Ebay. I might be curious to see how it ends but not that much. Give me a UK DVD release for £20 however and I’ll be first in line. I’m just hoping we don’t have to wait for Murray to pass away before this happens.

4. Zero Effect

I only know three people who have seen this film; Me, a friend that I loaned my Region 1 DVD to and Jonathan Ross (who reviewed it on TV). A slightly skewed modern day take on Sherlock Holmes, I absolutely love this film and quote from it all the time (People know they’re being followed when they look behind them and see someone following them). Since my multi region DVD player packed up I haven’t seen this in the best part of a decade. Need to scratch that itch. Yes. I could just go out a get a new player but that just puts me at the mercy of the technology again. What happens in another ten years when that player stops and I can’t replace it?

5. Sorcerer

On the long list of films on my wish list to own, this one is unique. The truth of the matter is that when it comes to William Friedkins remake of The Wages of Fear, I’ve never seen it. I am however massively pre-disposed to love it and can’t wait for that glorious day when I can slip it into the player, turn off the lights and experience it for the first time.

It’s a “men on a mission” movie, it stars Roy Scheider and has a score by Tangerine Dream. How could I not love it?

Good news is that following a restoration of the print by Friedkin himself, Sorcerer is due to be released on Blu Ray on April 14th this year. No news however on whether that is in the US only. Watch this space.

2013 – Highs, Lows, Rituals and Totals

I love this time of year. I can look back at last year’s movies and decide which need adding to my collection plus I look forward to the coming years new movies and start to hope.  On top of that it means the Oscars are just around the corner and last but not least there are a couple of rituals to be done at home.

Rituals first.

1. Empty the stub jar. Yes, I keep my cinema tickets but only for the year. Why? Don’t know. Moving on.

2. Turn my DVDs right way up. I have a serious DVD collection, really serious. In fact there are too many films for me to possibly watch in a single year. So in order to enjoy as many as possible, as soon as I finish a film it goes back on the shelf upside down.  I then don’t watch it again to the following year. Slightly OCD but hey, who isn’t. Every New Year they get turned right way up and I revel in the fact I can watch anything I want. Yay.

Totals.

During 2013 I managed to watch 156 films (only complete viewings count and each title counts just once), 78 for the first time and 47 of those at the cinema. Favourites. I feel I should stress that this is a favourite film list and not a best film list. These are the pictures of the year I will return to most often and therefore better films could be overlooked for more fun ones. Everyone will admit to thinking Schindlers List is amazing but we would also confess to watching Jurassic Park more often.

Honourable mentions for 2013 include (in no particular order); Escape Plan, Django Unchained, Captain Philips, Les Miserables, Stoker, Welcome to the Punch, Pacific Rim, Rush, Elysium and the Hobbit – Desolation of Smaug’

10. Trance. National treasure Danny Boyle does it again in this stylish cerebral heist movie.

9. Despicable Me 2. Bottom! Need I say more.

8. White House Down. After 2 disappointing Die Hardesque movies in one year (more on that later), it was third time lucky with WHD. Without doubt the most fun I had in the cinema all year. A big stupid grin of a movie.

7. 2 Guns. An unexpected gem. A real 80’s throwback but in a good way. Snarky gold.

6. Riddick. Castaway meets Pitch Black. Going small budget allowed them take the gloves off and give us the Riddick movie we wanted. More please.

5. Lone Ranger. Not going to apologise for this. Call it a guilty pleasure if you must but this is so close to being brilliant. I’ll settle for really good plus the genius final train(s) sequence.

4. Jack Reacher. An opening sequence Hitchcock would have been proud of and the rest is cool too. Old school car chase with old school editing. What’s not to like, so stop whining about Cruise being too small and enjoy a taut, well paced thriller.

3. Gravity. I’d be amazed if this didn’t show up on just about every end of year list and rightly so. One of a few films that left me speechless on viewing. Will avoid the DVD extras like the plague because I just don’t want to know how it was done. Just like a magic trick, knowing would diminish (probably destroy) the wonder.

2. Iron Man 3. Self confessed Shane Black fan loves Shane Black movie shocker. Ok so you comic book guys might not like the Mandarin treatment here but guess what? This film wasn’t  made for you. Over a billion at the box office speaks for itself. Not only did people turn out in big numbers to see this, they went more than once (as did I. Thrice in fact.)

1. The Worlds End. Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg make it three out of three. Brilliantly written, acted, directed and edited. There are so many layers of cool and hidden symbols here that it will stand up to viewing after viewing, just like Shaun and just like Hot Fuzz.

Worst of 2013.

At one point in the year I did consider placing just one film in all five positions in the bottom list just to get the message across but in the end four more candidates turned up to fill the spaces.

5. Machete Kills – A joke too far is no joke at all. This one has out stayed its welcome.

4. Kick Ass 2 – The biggest disappointment of 2013.

3. Olympus Has Fallen – Not the worst Die Hardesque movie of the year but that’s not saying much.

2. GI Joe : Retaliation – Apparently this did well enough to warrant a sequel. Have mercy on us all.

1. A Good Day to Die Hard – Oh how the mighty have fallen. Disjointed, improbable, lazy and with one of the least memorable villains of all time. Awful.

Man of the Year.

Steve Coogan – A dazzling display of versatility, Despicable Me 2, Philomena, The Look of Love and the return of Alan Partridge in Alpha Papa. Flawless.

So that was 2013 and pretty good it was too. 2014 here we come..

Bait

You’ve all heard of Snakes on a Plane, well Bait is Sharks in a Supermarket!

The setup is actually pretty clever. A below street level supermarket on the Australian shoreline gets flooded by the tidal wave that follows an earthquake. The debris blocking the entrance and a twelve foot Great White patrolling the aisles means they can’t leave and the rising water levels and threat of aftershocks and further tsunamis means they can’t stay. Classic “ticking clock” stuff. Throw into the mix a few clichéd characters (Cop, Cops Daughter Gone Bad, Crook, Ex-Lifeguard and his Ex Girlfriend etc – trust me they’re all here, there’s even a Dog) and we’re good to go.

The pre titles sequence is, almost exactly the opening of Cliff Hanger but with a shark standing in (can a shark stand in?) for a very high place. The end result is the same, main character left holding a piece of fabric as someone disappears from their grasp and a change of career beckons. This sequence (and an unnecessary credits stinger) feature some truly awful special effects and I thought I was in for another Asylum/Corman standard shark movie (seriously have you seen Sharknado or Sharktopus!!). However once the tsunami hits (ok effects – seen better but seen much worse too) and we head indoors things take a turn for the better.

Whilst we’re talking effects, there are moments in this where I swear the filmmakers used a real shark. Some of this effect work belongs in a much better film. The same can’t be said for the acting, oh dear. The only face I recognised was Julian McMahon and he’s never managed to impress me yet. Everyone else was new to me and I suspect will stay that way. The acting never really rises above soap opera standard (Sharni Vinson – the Ex Girlfriend did 7 years in Home and Away) but in a movie about sharks in a supermarket, do we really expect Oscar-winning performances? I know I don’t.

The filmmakers also appear to have avoided any obvious Jaws references ( Honestly, when did you last see a movie with a shark in it, where someone didn’t say “we’re gonna need a bigger something”) and for that I applaud them. The sub-plot about the three people trapped in the parking garage (with a second shark)  is equally funny and tense and keeps things moving along at a fair pace.

Originally released in 3D there are a few too many shots of things floating past the camera (plastic bags, swimming goggles, feet etc) and things being thrust at the camera (spears and sharks mainly). If you’re into 3D and watching it that way, then great but if you watch in 2D (like me), then these shots are a little too frequent and to be honest only serve to remind you that you are watching a movie.

Overall I have to admit I liked it. It sits in that small group of good B movies that are good because they’re actually good and not good because they’re so bad.

7 out of 10 (Bait is available now on DVD and well worth the £5 I paid for it)

Finally if you’re an aspiring movie maker you could do worse than to look at this for inspiration. Keep your number of locations to a minimum, keep the cast small, running time lean (Bait is 93 minutes) and use your effects budget wisely (a few good effects always beats a lot of poor ones).